im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
its liver damage thursday
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
