you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
