While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize