I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize