belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
