nut hugger
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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