Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They took my balls.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
