There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
