yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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