I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize