We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
