Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
NoShamevember. You game?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
