Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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