I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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