Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
