Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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