i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
