1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
