i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
