you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it glows. i had to have it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
this will be a night to untag.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
