margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
