I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
