I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My ATM looks so different sober.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
