apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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