i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
