Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize