Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
