Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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