Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize