Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
