hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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