You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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