Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
