Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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