Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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