Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
