Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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