he told me I talked like a deaf person
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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