Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
