you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
