Already got asked if we're dating
oh god the rape fog is back!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
