The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
