Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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