He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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