I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
