dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
