I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
