I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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