In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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