if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't deserve a penis
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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