Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
