Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My pussy is not your playground.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
