what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
