If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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