She's like a pop up book from hell.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
