wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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