I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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