Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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