is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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