i just had sex bonerless
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
