I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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