Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
