He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
